You Talk Too Much

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to talk. As a kid, I would make tapes of myself talking to my sister or singing songs from my favorite movies and TV shows. On my report cards in elementary school, all of the teachers would say I was a great student and contributed in class but I was chatty with the other students. I will never forget my middle school ski trip to Camp Bernie in New Jersey. All of the girls were in bunk beds and we had been up half the night talking about all the things middle school girls talk about. We had already been warned once by a teacher to quiet down and I had made an honest effort to stop talking. Of course, a few minutes later, I was the one being sent out to the main room to sleep by myself on the couch. Looking back, I probably got a better night's rest that way but I really hated the fact I was singled out as the biggest talker when there were definitely some other girls who were just as bad.

Today my "problem" with talking was reiterated. Apparently, I chat too much with a co-worker in the suite down from mine. I can't say I was surprised when this came up in conversation, I do venture over there periodically throughout the day, but I try to keep my conversations limited to the morning when I fill up our water pitcher. It probably doesn't help that our CEO has a direct view from his office to the front desk which is where said co-worker sits. I'm not trying to pass  blame or down play the situation, but given the fact I'm not allowed to use work e-mail for non-work related business (thank you government) and the fact that it's very easy to hear what I'm saying if I call her on the phone (thank you small office of cubicles), sometimes our conversations are better suited to in-person encounters.

The truth is, my chattiness, my love to talk is a part of me and I can't change who I am. In the past I've done my best NOT to talk, to keep quiet. After a few minutes though, people would start to ask me what was wrong. They'd ask if I was upset, what was bothering me. It was nothing, just my attempt at being quiet.

I'm not mad or upset about what I was told today. Like I said, I wasn't really surprised when it was brought up. It did make me realize though that you can never be too comfortable.  You always need to be aware of your actions and how people perceive you. I'll keep that in mind the next time I fill up the water pitcher.